Red Carpet

As something of a film fancier and enjoyer of nice dresses, the Oscars is something that I get excited about, although always seem to forget to book time off work in order to be able to stay up and watch it. However, seeing as it overruns by a lot and gets a bit boring, that's probably a good thing as I can still enjoy it without having to sit through it. I've just been reading through a post via my favourite website Go Fug Yourself here (scroll down for Fugging the Oscars), which is a blow-by-blow account that made me laugh quite a lot. Essentially: Helen Mirren and Forest Whittaker won. Big surprise. Alan Arkin won, which is good as Little Miss Sunshine was genius, although I loved Mark Wahlberg so much in The Departed that I was secretly holding out for him. Martin Scorsese and Thelma Schoonmaker (my favourite editor) both won for The Departed which also won best film. Although there were better films, I'm just really glad it won over Babel and The Queen. I haven't seen either of those for a reason. The fact that Babel was by the same guy who did 21 Grams didn't encourage me to see it as that was one of those films, like Mystic River, that I felt I was supposed to like because it was very serious and important but came out of feeling very let down. I also read a review of Babel that said that if the same idea had been done with a more positive feel, it would have been ridiculously naive, but as it was a depressing subject matter, we're supposed to take it seriously, which is pretty much my feeling about 21 Grams and confirmed my prejudice. And I know I should probably see The Queen and get my ideas changed about her but I don't want to. She's just a woman with a crappy job who's pretty much out of touch with modern Britain for all of her hand-shaking and hospital visiting. I feel sorry for her but I'm not interested enough to spend two hours in her company.

To be honest, the awards are generally a let-down after all the hype and the speeches can be embarrassing but the outfits never let us down. Annoyingly my favourite dress of the year belonged to Reese Witherspoon. And it's dark blue, which I always feel is a back-up black at awards ceremony, i.e. dull. But unfortunately, having looked at several photos, I still love it to bits. It's gorgeous. Cate Blanchett's was much less upsettingly pleasant as it was interesting, unusual and on an actress who I respect and like, and who appears uncredited in Hot Fuzz (it is her - I've had it confirmed. I am no longer the crazy woman ranting about how I know it is her to a defiant MuleBoy. I am now the crazy woman with proof). Gwyneth, Penelope and Jessica Biel all came a cropper to unpleasant shades of pink. I liked both Eva Green and Nicole's dresses but their faces scared me. Cameron Diaz decided to wear white, which always looks bridal, and she managed to get a dress so architectural in structure that she looks like a bride from an awful 80s wedding. Or a really clean version of the Tricorn Centre. And she should stop being brunette. I thought that Helen Mirren looked great but she generally does. Kate Winslet, my favourite red carpet person, looked a bit lacklustre. Mainly because of her hair. But she wore a colour which is the most important thing. My favourite men were Robert Downey Jr, Clive Owen and James McAvoy. Eddie Murphy looks like he thinks that he's still in Dreamgirls and Djimon Hounsou, lucky bastard who got to sit next to Jack Nicholson in the front row (if I ever go to the Oscars, I want to sit there. Can you imagine getting little asides from Jack Nicholson? Also, he always genuinely looks like he's having fun), had shiny edgings to his lapels. Daniel Craig is always gorgeous but, like Eddie, seemed to forget he wasn't actually on set and had dressed Bond-appropriate. I know it's difficult to escape Bond comparisons in a tux but would refer him to Clive Owen's example. The rebel didn't wear a tie of any kind! And it still worked.

I can't wait until the highlights, I want to see the interpretive dance where they make images from recent films. I want to see Abigail Breslin and Jaden Smith be cute together. And I want to see the Dead Person Montage, which, if I'm honest, probably is one of my favourite bits of the show. Even if it isn't as good as what Mark LaMarr used to do on Never Mind the Buzzcocks for all the people he just wished had died over the year.