Little Bits of Random

Well, this is a turn up for the books, isn't it? Two posts in a week; it's like when I first started blogging and the whole world was just a series of events to encapsulate in an anonymous anecdotal form. Now I'm old and jaded and much less interesting - sad state of affairs, aint it?

I have been noticing a trend in myself recently, namely that I tend to use social network-y type sites to indulge the part of me that, when drunk, bored or hyper, wants to poke other people and jump up and down while shrieking "entertain me, entertain me!" I think this is slightly more bearable in written form so when I feel this mood strike, will turn to the t'interweb. Yesterday, I ate two cupcakes (there was a cake sale for the impoverished students and I'm having an off-week, and, hey, I don't need to justify myself to you) and drank too much Diet Coke and was essentially pinging off the walls. My colleagues had begun to bore me, even my game of gurning at Jan had started to wear thin, and they were all in the post-3pm zombie stage of the day. Dull, dull, dull. No-one was on facebook and then *ping* I remembered Mrs DA's recommendation of Omegle.com, a very random chat-site where you have an anonymous conversation with anyone from around the globe. After a couple of non-starters: the phrase "I'm feeling horny" leads to an immediate disconnect from me and, bearing in mind that I have the attention span of a gnat, I don't care to have conversations entirely in initials and acronyms. I eventually lucked upon someone who let me ramble on and here's my conversation for your delectation:

Stranger: hey hey ;)
You: Hello
Stranger: how are you?
You: I'm extremely hyper, you?
Stranger: great to hear that =D well, soso... but the holidays are about to start, so that's a good thing. right? ^^where are you from?
You: Somewhere where holidays don't exist, tragic but true.
Stranger: rly? where would that be? oO
You: The land of No Money and Busy Work. Believe me, you do NOT want to go there
Stranger: so no holidays? not even for students?
You: Oh, well, other people may be able to go on holiday but I can't. It's a principality of one but I'm feeling very bitter about it currently
Stranger: seems understandable... and I thought the situation in my country was bad, just after those recent elections... but that sounds even worse oO
You: Go on then, where are you from?
Stranger: Oh, I think with "recent elections", that should be quite guessable ;) germany, actually
You: Guessable for people who actually read/watch the news. I'm a really well-educated moron essentially
Stranger: haha ^^ touché ;) I'm not too thrilled, though. I've got to work during my holidays, to be able to afford the gasoline for my car ^^
You: So are you a student? And what work do you have to do?
Stranger: Yes, I'm in the senior year. So basically the last year of school. The 13th. Don't know the school system in your country of no money and busy work ;) I deliver pizzas ^^ It's not as bad as it sounds. It's basically gaining money for driving around in a smart car
You: Oh okay, so that'd make you, what, 18? And are you about to go to University, which would start when? And I would totally do that job, especially if it involved free pizza (it does, right?)
You: And in my land, school is a distant, distant memory. Like the dinosaurs
Stranger: it includes 50% off pizzas ;) yeah, I'm 18... I'm going to have a one-year-brake after school, actually. Don't have to do any military or social service, so that's quite reasonable ^^ mmmmh... sounds like you're older than 18?
You: Oh cool, will the one-year-off be purely spent delivering pizzas and saving or will you be travelling to interesting places or something? Yep, I'm oooold - nearly 30, for frick's sake. I'm freaking out a little bit.
Stranger: I'm planning on going to Japan for 6 months =D Well, it's not THAT old, you know? It's 10 years from now for me >_>
You: Japan, nice! Are you going to tour or do you have some kind of placement or something? I know it isn't that old but get in touch when you're my age now and tell me you're not completely freaked out as well.
Stranger: I actually have some contacts in japan, after I've been working in the video game industry for 2 years now ;) and how would I get in touch then? Let's say we logon to omegle on 10/08/2019 again ;)
You: Ma ha ha, sounds like a plan. I have to go now as I have a car waiting for me (not glamorous, really), good luck in Japan and I'll talk to you in ten years, yeah?
Stranger: alright, see you in ten years ;) thanks for the nice chat =D

I woke myself up by shouting "run!" in the middle of the night, last night. I tend to have very epic dreams with insane storylines and I was shouting at someone to run away from me because I knew that if they touched me they would die. Exciting stuff, this was preceded by the destruction of an evil nunnery by the head of a statue of a horse - it was a really big statue but I think it would have had to have, like, some kind of guided-missile-type properties in order to kill everyone there.

I'm currently making a list called Little Bits of Random. It's filled with one-line images, really. It's sort of like going back to my University days when I did little performances like wobbling an orange pencil, sitting on the banks of the canal making paper and interviewing passersby, or being wrapped up in brown paper and getting drawn on. I really liked doing that sort of thing and it would be nice to do it now where it doesn't necessarily have to be contextualised or annotated unless I want to do it. I like making odd little impacts on other people - we did the Ghost Walks last week and, for me, the best bit is crossing paths with people who have no idea what's going on. I think it's got to do with my obsession for there to be something going on beneath the surface of the obvious world that we know and understand and I like the idea that you can make that happen for other people. The one I really want to try is someone riding around on buses with an invisible friend. I'd love to see that.

Making Ends Meet

Or not, as in my case. Why is it such a struggle to get to a point where I am financially comfortable? Every month I look at my bank balance and see the stuff that I owe reducing but it's all so damn slow. And until that's paid back fully, I can't leave or move on. Well, I could, if it was to something better paid but I seem to be getting less and less good at thinking about my strengths and applying them properly to a job search. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff I've convinced myself out of over the years. Believe me, it's been a lot of stuff. For someone who's reasonably self-confident in several areas of her life, it's quite difficult to believe how much confidence I lack in my abilities as a proper working person. Part of that's because I know how lazy I am and how many mistakes I can make. I worry so much when I think of the idiotic things that I have done over the years and I watch medical dramas with the knowledge that I could never do that job - think of the number of people I'd kill as a doctor. Terrifying. I just want to not have to work - I'd like to win the lottery and never have to work ever again. I don't think I'm any good at the whole working thing. So if anyone out there is able to make any impact on that, please think of me. The dude with the big glowy finger, yes, you there, it IS me. None of this "could be" rubbish (she says, referencing an advert that hasn't been on TV for years). I doubt I'm any more deserving than any one else and, to be honest, I probably would help myself out more than other people (do I have to reiterate that I'm not actually very nice?) but I would aim to boost the economy a little bit. But mainly, I am just so sick of getting to this point every single month and having to work out that I can't afford, well, anything beyond food for me and the cats (who have put on weight, which means I have to feed them less, which is a money-saver). It gets incredibly dull. I start dreaming of all of the things I will do next month when I get paid, they're not excessive dreams: I have managed to walk in my beloved grey boots so much that I have worn out the sole. I am debating whether to get them resoled or buy a new pair as it'd be about the same price. Indulgent foods from Waitrose - chocolate tart, mac and cheese, salami, Diet Coke (which I am so addicted to. Last month I had to stop buying it and spent the rest of the month suffering serious withdrawal. Even when I'd got over the actual pain of withdrawal, I had to deal with the things that made me start doing the caffeine thing in the first place- ie lack of concentration and extreme drowsiness. There's a nice quote in the remake of Freaky Friday (mother-daughter body-swap comedy. I understand that I'm one of the only people in the world who can recite embarrasing teenage girl-oriented films practically verbatim) where Jamie Lee Curtis has an epiphany: "oh, so that's why I've been craving caffeine all day. I thought I was dying" (while I'm on this film, I do think that the fact that Jamie Lee Curtis is happy to scream at her unmade-up face in the mirror and say "Ugh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper" is completely awesome - reasons to love Jamie Lee Curtis #3). I am now back on Diet Coke and loving it but know that I'll have to give it up again soon. I know it's bad for me, I know, I know. But it is the most glorious substance in the world as well, sigh. And the advertising is actually directed at me. I laugh every time I see the advert and The Meanie at work told me that the bride reminded her of me, which I found quite flattering). I have stomped over continuity in this post with that little section, haven't I? Returning to the point - the other thing I have to do with my tiny store of money left over from my pre-established outgoings is to put some money aside so I can dye my hair again in December. I know, right - dream big.