Beside The Sea

I have moved. Did you know this? I am now living alone apart from the cats and a disturbingly high number of moths. I have no problem with moths ordinarily but I disapprove of their clothes-eating tendencies so there we must part ways to the extent that I try and smack to death any that get too close to the wardrobe. Not that I've got the best relationship with my, or indeed any, clothes at the mo but I'd prefer to keep the garments I have free from gaping moth-holes. Weird thing about me and weight loss: I start noticing how much fashion does not help me out. I am a funny shape - broad and tall but curvy-ish without a real waist - and fashion and I rarely see eye-to-eye. At the moment, fashions make me look either mannish or matronly, and garments where this doesn't happen cling to the body I'm not happy with yet. It takes me an age to get dressed somedays.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, moving. I moved in April. Finchy got an offer he couldn't refuse, fortunately not from the Mafia, and I decided to try out something that I've been slightly nervous of: I no longer live with another human. So far it has been going okay. It is Expensive living alone but I don't appear to be going crazy, at least not to the point where I've noticed it. Although I wouldn't necessarily, would I? You'd tell me, wouldn't you? Ta.

There are some definite positives. I've created this tidy, quiet nest of a place and there's something about it where I feel like I shuck off concerns of the day when I enter it. Being accountable to myself means that I actually get things done. Rubbish gets cleared, floors get cleaned, ironing actually gets ironed. I've even started making meals from recipes with herbs and spices and such, which is a nice change. I've been a fairly decent cook in the past but have shied away from it in recent years. Apparently putting some effort into stuff like that even when it's just for you is actually worth it. Who knew?

The best thing, though, is the sea. I am so close. I walk out of my door and it is right there. At night, multicoloured lights swing between lamppost. By day, especially on the rare nice days, there's so much life out there. When I don't have anything to do at the weekend, I wander out with a book and just spend an hour or two outside. Sometimes I can feel a bit self-conscious about going out and doing things on my own but there's something about the seaside that negates this. It doesn't matter that I'm not doing anything specific; I'm beside the sea and for some reason I'm at home.



In other news: I phoned up for a hair appointment earlier and was given a slot at 3.45 but just as I was about to ring off was stopped: "Oh wait, there's a note saying you have a lot of hair, can you come in at 3.30 instead?" I like that the difference between my hair and other people's is quantifiable: I have 15 minutes more hair.

Also, I had a chat with Mr P earlier. He left and Charlotte, who has so far been ignorant of my crush, turned to me and said, "you know, it's a shame he has a girlfriend. You'd make a really great couple." After I admitted that, maybe, yes, I found him slightly attractive, she proceeded to point out an instance where there had been "a chink in the girlfriend armour" and encouraged me to wiggle my way in there. Good grief. Even my Mum said the other day that "it isn't as if he's married or anything." Of course, she may have just been trying to shut me up, in which case, job done.

All I'm doing is chatting occasionally and liking him from my side with absolutely no expectations. There's nothing wrong in that, is there?