Feeling Peculiar

I have been having funny feelings for a while now. It's very peculiar. It's kind of as though I've been picked up and shaken and put back down all jiggled-up. I guess you could chart my emotional and psychological reactions over the year on some kind of map and be quite impressed by the uniformity of its ups and downs but when you live it, it is difficult not to be rather startled by each new crest and dip. I'm quite enjoying the funny feelings, mainly because I am back to feeling as though I am actually 17 again. And I particularly liked being 17. But it means that I don't tend to be entirely in control of my actions and have made some decisions based on how I feel rather than what is the most practical or sensible choice. It is not like me to be quite so spontaneous but it has already led to good things. The pragmatic choices that I've been making, out of necessity to give me some hope and focus, haven't really fit in with my perspective on life and what I really want. To be fair, it has taken me a really long time to decide what that is but I feel that now I can start living and enjoying things on a much more day-to-day basis, rather than planning for stuff I don't want as much as I originally thought I did.

I realise that this is quite a cryptic post but I seem to be talking about twelve different things at once and any clarification would undoubtedly turn into a list. But in case it isn't already apparent, I'm quite happy at the moment, if a little peculiar

Thank you!

Thank you to the very generous people who sponsored me, you are all amazing!

Big Sis and I managed to complete the course in 47 minutes, which was quite an achievement as we weren't expecting to actually run and ended up surprising ourselves with how fun it was. The feeling of the day was amazing - surrounded by strong, brave, supportive and friendly women who were all doing something they believed in. For something that could be a sad day because we were remembering those people we have lost and those who are suffering with cancer, it was a hugely uplifting experience. I think it's an opportunity to feel that you are doing something tangible to fight back. So next year, we plan to do more; keep fighting, keep running and keep remembering.